As we are grieving the lost adoption of "Mila," I'm clinging to these verses. God is not surprised by this loss. He knew all along, this was the plan. He knew another child would be ours, and He knew it would hurt. Through this pain we are clinging to the promise that this is all for His glory, and we are proceeding on with faith. for we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7) I'll be honest and say that our immediate, knee-jerk reaction was to think about stopping. How could we proceed, knowing our hearts belong to a child we can't bring home? I believe the timing of this loss -coming after our dossier was already submitted in country- was grace, and God's protection. Had we not needed to continue, we likely wouldn't have. We would have waited, redone papers as they expired, wasted time and money trying to make our dream, God's plan.
Oh, we are such fools, thinking we know what's best.
Yes, God knew all along this would happen. And maybe, just maybe, the reason He did this was for a little girl listed as "Wren."
When we committed to the adoption of "Mila," "Wren" had not yet been born. Deep in her mother's womb, she was being knit together, fearfully and wonderfully made. God knew her birth mother couldn't keep her. God knew she'd need a family. And God knew "Mila's" biological mother was going to come back to claim her.
And so, maybe, God got us going with "Mila" to bring us so quickly to "Wren?"
We are hurting, to be sure. Our hearts long to be parents to "Mila," but we trust the Creator of the universe, the Creator of "Mila" and Creator of "Wren," that He didn't bring us this far just to turn His back on us. God has miraculously provided for every need of our adoption, and that hasn't been so we would stop, and turn away. No, we must press on, and we will step forward for "Wren."
Honestly, it's been difficult. Though "Wren" is precious and created in His image and worthy of love as much as "Mila," we are just sad. To be sure, we will love her. There is no doubt in my mind that, a year from now, we will wonder how there was ever a time we were anything less than delighted over her! Love is a choice. And we will choose it. Every single day from the moment she is ours, we will choose love for "Wren," and God will reward that choice with unbelievable, unconditional love for her as our daughter before we know it.
Sweet "Wren"...you just may be our biggest adventure yet. <3